D: Distant breath sounds
T: Distant breast sounds
D: issues that need to be discussed
T: issues that made to be disgust
D: Strong scents such as perfumes, scented candles,
T: Strong sense such as perfumes, scented candles,
D: and left the operating room in stable condition.
T: and let the operating room in stable condition.
[THE STABLE OPERATING ROOM]
D: using a beta blocker for rate control
T: using a beta blocker for weight control
[A WEIGHT CONSCIOUS MT !]
D: On review of systems today, they brought up multiple issues
T: On review of systems today, they BOUGHT up multiple issues
[THE ISSUES THAT WERE “BOUGHT”]
D: patient had large expulsive bowel movements
T: patient had large explosive bowel movements
[Oh My Gawd ! !]
D: She has five sisters, one of whom is deceased
T: She has five sisters, one of whom is deceived
D: Does have a history of one abnormal Pap smear in the past
T: Does have a history of one abdominal Pap smear in the past
D: colostomy with an apparent parastomal hernia
T: colostomy with an apparent parasternal hernia
[colostomy with paraSTERNAL hernia ? ? !]
D: As I mentioned previously, we need to obtain a barium contrast study
T: As imagined previously, we need to obtain a barium contrast study
[IMAGINED ? The word IMAGINED in a medical report ? ? ?]
D: testes are descended
T: testes are distended
[DISTENDED TESTES !]
D: Does not describe dermatic periorbital edema.
T: Does not describe dramatic orbital edema.
D: … recurrent or persistent pelvic disease
T: … recurrent ecosystem pelvic disease
D: Energy level is also fair. Due to a fracture of his foot, he is walking with a walking boot.
T: Energy level is also fair due to a fracture of his foot. He is walking with a walking boot.
D: No…, muscle aches and pain, or breast enlargement
T: No…, muscle aches and pain with breast enlargements
PHYSICAL EXAM SECTION: A case of transparent neck:
D: Thyroid was explored digitally
T: Thyroid was explored visually
D: diabetes insipidus
T: diabetes inspidious
D: In clinic today, Bob is a 6-foot-2-1/2-inch kyphosed 63-year-old male
T: In clinic today, Bob is fixed with 2.5-inch kyphosed, a 63-year-old male
D: Actually, her weight was increased from 79.29 kg last time we saw her last year to 82.4 kg today.
T: Actually, her weight was increased from 79.29 kg last time we saw her last year at 282.4 kg today.
[SUPER-DUPER WEIGHT RISE]
D: Patient is encouraged to stay hydrated
T: Patient is encouraged to dehydrate
D: Significant for …blah, blah, ….and gallbladder and appendectomy.
T: Significant for …blah, blah, ….and gallbladder appendectomy.
[GALLBLADDER APPENDECTOMY ?]
D: equivocal Babinski’s
T: clavicular Brudzinski’s
[Brudzinski is related to legs/knees/hips; Babinski is related to toes; CLAVICULAR BRUDZINSKI ? ? ? ?]
D: An ……and dementia, on PEG tube.
T: An ……and dementia on PEG tube.
D: Abdomen: Soft, lax, no organomegaly, on PEG tube. Patient has bedsores in his buttock.
T: Abdomen: Soft, lax, no organomegaly. On PEG tube, patient has bedsores in his buttock.
D: He is currently sexually active with his wife and notes some decrease in the HARDNESS of his erections.
T: He is currently sexually active with his wife and notes some decrease in the HOTNESS of his erections.
D: On exam, she in was stable condition with no problems. Clinically was stable.
T: On exam, she in was stable condition with no problems. Kinetically was stable.
[Kinetically STABLE ? ?]
D: The operation was done in the Cardiac OR with the cardiac anesthetist around.
T: The operation was done in the Cardiac OR with the cardiac end status around.
D: so he was also referred to the ENT for repeat audiometry and possible adjustment of parameters of the hearing aid.
T: so he was …….healing atrium.
[REFERRAL TO ENT FOR HEALING ATRIUM ? How the hell can ATRIUM come in EAR?]
D: no history of GTN or pregnancy induced hypertension
T: no history of GTN or pregnancy due to hypertension
[PREGNANCY BECAUSE OF HYPERTENSION ?! HA HA HA !!]
D: the patient’s cesarean section was done in the main OR
T: the patient’s cesarean section was done in the manual hour
In physical exam section:
D: Positive pulmonary erythema
T: Positive palmar erythema
[Pulmonary ERYTHEMA ??? In physical exam section ???]
D: She was knocked by a car and brought to ER unconscious.
T: She was mocked by a car and brought to ER unconscious.
[THE MOCKING CAR]
D: Phallus is enlarged
T: Phallus HAS EMERGED
D: He states that the chest discomfort CEASED approximately one week ago, but the GASPING and dizziness continued.
T: He states that the chest discomfort SEIZED approximately one week ago, but the GAS PAIN and dizziness continued.
D: In light of the patient’s pain as well as her irregular bleeding, it is recommended that she begin
T: Plan is the patient’s pain as well as her irregular bleeding is recommended that she began
GROSS CARELESS MEDICAL ERROR BLOOPER:
D: advanced renal failure due to Wegener’s vasculitis
T: advanced renal failure due to Wagner’s vasculitis
[Wagner’s relates to hyaloideoretinal degeneration(eye)
Wegener’s relates to glomerulonephritis (kidney)]
D: He was involved in a motor vehicle accident recently in which he STRUCK his right ear
T: He was involved in a motor vehicle accident recently in which he STUCK his right ear
Dictation goes: “Letter goes to Dr. Scott Miller, who is in DeForest…”
T: …..Dr. Scott Miller, who is in the forest.
D: Past medical history is significant for compartment syndrome in the bilateral lower extremities, status post release.
T: Past medical history is significant for compartment syndrome and a bilateral lower extremities, status post relief.
D: She is going to continue with medical management in hopes of avoiding any surgical intervention
T: She is going to continue with medical management in hopes of AFFORDING any surgical intervention
D: Mr. Nash lives in Madison and works at the university library
T: ……and works at a University of Library
D: He has no hypesthesia over the right bilateral brachioradialis muscles
T: He has no typeshesia over the right bilateral brachioradialis muscles
D: . . . with his ex-wife.
T: . . . with his x-wife.
D: Frequent runny, red, and irritated eyes
T: Frequent runny, red, and irrigated eyes
D: Today, she is eating liquids without much difficulty. She does not eat much solids.
T: Today, she is eating liquids without much difficulty. She does not eat much salads.
D: moderate nuclear sclerotic limbus change
T: moderate nucleus, chronic limbus change in both eyes
D: outcome was a baby weighing 4.010 kg
T: outcome was a baby weighing 4010 kg
MOTHER OF ALL REDUNDANCIES:
D: underwent open septorhinoplasty
T: underwent operative rhinoplasty
D: nose with loss of tip rotation and projection
T: nose with loss of occasional projection
[the occasionally projecting nose]
D: Chest x-ray: Lower left lobe infiltrate. Increased interstitial marking, left lower lung.
T: Chest x-ray: Lower ………marking, left lower LEG.
D: Previous cesarean section, in active labor
T: Previous cesarean section, inactive labor
D: He was also diagnosed to have osteopenia of prematurity based on laboratory and x-ray findings.
T: He was also …..and x-ray of hand
D: on the left side of the abdomen
T: on the breast side of the abdomen
A CHANGE IN HUMAN ANATOMY:
D: Tongue shows some hypertrophy of the papilla
T: Tongue shows some hypertrophy of the patella
D: edematous mucosa consistent of ulcerative colitis that was involved beyond 50 cm from the ANAL verge
T: edematous………..INNER verge
D: On examination, her throat really looks quite benign on inspection
T: On examination, her throat really looks quite benign infection
D: right carotid endarterectomy
T: right carotid enterectomy
D: rapid strep
T: rabbit strep
D: PAST MEDICAL HISTORY: As described above.
T: PAST MEDICAL HISTORY: As prescribed above.
D: Cardiovascular: First and second heart sounds, no added sound
T: Cardiovascular: ….., no added chest.
D: Mucosa is very moist
T: Mucus is very moist
T[D]: had 800 cc of urine in her bag [BACK]
T[D]: chest x-ray does not show any fracture or dislocation of the wrist [RIBS]
T[D]: The patient is a 39-year-old female who states she was walking down the hallway when she tripped, landed on a glass frame that broke, cutting her face in multiple faces [places]
T[D]: He did have evidence of some probable arthritis with some limited range of motion of his hands and seat [feet]
ACTUAL DICTATION: “The patient expired and WENT to the morgue.” [vikram aur vetaal]
T[D]: Original temperature was 202.4 [102.4]