Pathology’s top ten one liners…& what they really mean!!!

1) Enucleated specimen of right eye, inadequate for opinion: Excise the left eye, too.

2) Small round cell tumour, advised immunohistochemistry for a definite diagnosis: I don’t know what the hell it is.

3) Compatible with lichen planus: Doesn’t look like it. But if you insist, I don’t resist.

4) Florid reactive hyperplasia, lymph node; advised close clinical follow up: Boss, wait till it turns into a full blown lymphoma, then I’ll type it.

5) Borderline serous cystadenoma, ovary, with focal microinvasion: Phew, this’ll save my skin, if the patient throws a met 10 years later!

6) Early ill formed epithelioid granulomas with occasional acid fast bacilli: I have an excellent imagination!

7) Special stains for fungi, bacteria and parasites are not contributory: I didn’t look hard enough.

8) Metastatic poorly differentiated neoplasm, cerebellum, with possibilities of carcinoma, sarcoma, melanoma, lymphoma . . .: Looking for the primary is your job; anyway, how does it matter now?

9) Appendix showing lymphoid hyperplasia: You knocked off a perfectly normal one.

10) Poorly preserved biopsies from multiple sites, unsuitable for definite opinion: Only a necropsy can solve the issue!


Posted on December 28, 2011, in One Liner and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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